8230 Mile Furlough Inspired Road Trip

Advice: Start your day as early as possible. Upside: Hiking is easier in the relatively cool morning, and there are fewer people. Downside: Coffee is next to impossible to find.

I was up and showered at 4.30 AM and ”broke camp” by 5 AM (for the uninitiated, that’s camping lingo for ”packed up and went,” for those in the know – you see, I can talk like that now that I have had two official KOA stays). Camper Rob at your service.

I drove down to Deadwood foraging for eggs and coffee. Only to be disappointed to learn restaurants don’t open until 6.30 AM – savages!! Having seen movement in the Deadwood Starbucks, I jumped out of the car, marched to the counter to find a barista deep in thought, and preparing for the day ahead. She didn’t notice me until I happily proclaimed, ”good morning!” Only to unintentionally scare the shit out of her – none of us were starting on the right foot today.

Caffeine in hand and no eggs – I didn’t have the heart to ask my traumatized friend for the sous vide eggs – it was time to make the drive to Devils Tower.

It’s about an hour long drive to Wyoming, beautiful and scenic along the way. I arrive at the gate; no one was around, no other cars, no one. Given COVID shutting down National Parks, I was worried that perhaps I missed the closure notice. But I drove in any way, figured worst case I just get a closer picture.

Fortunately, there were other cars at the bottom and saw where people were starting to hike past the sentinel Prarie Dogs, standing at attention and dodging into their dens as you get close.

Having made it past the ”Alex Prairie Dog Town,” the trail wound through the base of the butte. A guy was already making his way down, with an exchange of good mornings, he smartly advised ”don’t forget to look back out on to the valley – the views are incredible.” He was correct; you get so fixated on the destination, you lose perspective on the surrounding vistas. (#lifelessons)

The four-mile hike up to and around the boulder field surrounding the monumental rock formation, then back down, was relatively easy. Something learned, June is a sacred month for the Lakota people, visitors are not permitted to climb, while the native tribe conducts their ceremonies, one of which involves placing prayer offerings throughout the area.

Now that it is July, people begin hiking and climbing the face. The climbers are little colorful dots moving up the massive columns of rock. To even get to the base, they had to scramble across a quarter-mile boulder field.

Now that I have circumnavigated my bucket list destination for the day, and watching the alien mothership drop off passengers from 40 some odd years ago, it was time to hike back down. My handy dandy Alcala wipes (hint hint sponsorship hint hint) were perfect for refreshing before hitting the road.

I decided to get brunch at the ”Devils Tower View.” Okay, so this restaurant doubles as an RV campsite. Nice enough place, Elk Burger on the menu and hookups for RVs – I think to myself, perfect, I can get a little juice while I eat.

I pull up, get the car connected, and head to the restaurant. I ask one of the employees how much to charge the car while eating. He didn’t have a clue, no one has done that before, and he needed to ask the owner. My thinking is that if an overnight charge in Ohio cost $4, an hour charge could not be more than a couple of dollars.

I order my much anticipated Elk Burger when the guy comes back to say the owner wants $20. $20!!! For an hour and me being the only patron on the property!!! I get it, EVs are new, and businesses don’t know how to capitalize on them but what a missed opportunity. I was willing to pay $5 for the convenience on top of my lunch, which cost $15. Easy money, the electricity would have cost her a dollar or two, I was willing to pay more than I tipped for the meal. Anyway, they’ll figure it out eventually.

Next stop: Needles

Clay Hughes, one of my older friends, college roommate, and someone who knows more stories about my weekends in college than I do.

Thanks, Clay, for the Road Trip Playlist. He created it on Spotify (yes, I finally subscribed to the service – just an old Luddite, who still likes to buy music)

If you like Alternative music, you will love this set: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/41VpzFUX2wOmRlCum5VsOU?si=bq7D1t9jRw-xhm3avBCo2A

Thanks, TownPlace Suites, you either had no idea you had a vagrant on your property, or you were kind enough to leave me alone. I hit the road at 5 AM, searching for coffee and a place to change out clothes.

I found a Kum & Go with a clean restroom. Switching clothes is easy enough, but what to do when you can’t get to a shower? {start product endorsement here} I knew this was going to be a real challenge when you make a conscious decision to not stay at hotels – so I found these body wipes called Alcala on Amazon. They are super convenient. {I accept Venmo for all sponsorship contributions}

As you can see from the map of yesterday’s drive – there isn’t much to do but go in a straight line for over 10 hours. I learned the fine art of drafting semi-trucks to help add range between charges. Simple enough to set the autopilot car distance to 1 and just go for the ride. It’s maybe 5% more efficient.

When not drafting, the speed limit is 80 mph. But with everyone driving the same speed and nothing to compare the speed to, it doesn’t feel fast.

Wall Drug Store… WTF… Seriously WTF… You see this god damn place advertised for 100s of miles, and you think,”well damn, it’s been around since 1931, this should be interesting.” Ok, yes it’s interesting if you think strip malls with a faux western flare is interesting, then yes this place is F’ing amazing. More crap you can buy in a quarter-mile maze of ”oh shit, where the fuck am I, how do I get out this place and what the fuck are all these people doing taking pictures with plastic saloon patrons from the wild west.” Other than that, I am pretty happy I stopped off, at least now I know. Be sure to stop by the next time you are passing through, tell ’em Rob sent you.

Deadwood, SD!!! Another KOA awaits me. This time I’ll be there for a couple of days to see Devils Tower and Mount Rushmore.

I had dinner at the ”Deadwood Social Club.” Good eats, Boar meat in a fried dumpling was tasty and a Bison burger, washed down with an excellent Old Fashioned (much needed after the days drive).

Turned in relatively early, watched Will Ferrell’s Eurovision. It was sorta/kinda funny, it had its moments, but really just wanted it to end so I could go to sleep.

The adventure continues…

Day two had a goal of meeting up with an old colleague, Lee Abrams. He is up there as one of my favorite people. We worked together at XM when the company was fun and mission-driven. Perhaps it’s the nature of the music entertainment industry, or it was just the moment in time, but this is still one of the better gigs I’ve had inventing new broadcast content and delivering it with cutting-edge (for the time) technology and devices.

One of our most memorable stories we like to look back on with nostalgia is not my proudest or responsible, but it does make for a great story. It involves a plane, George Strait, lots of alcohol, and a rental car. Read it on Lee’s old blog site – just try not to judge me too harshly, we all survived. http://leeabrams.blogspot.com/2008/03/travelogue-george-strait-tip.html?m=1

Lee is an inventor, a futurist, with a brilliant mind for media. He is now focused on launching his consultancy: http://www.leeabramsmediavisions.com/

After lunch it was time to continue to motor west. Heading to Wisconsin before staying the night someplace in Minnesota. I found a place rumored to have an excellent burger and cheese curds. Do I ”need” cheese curds… No… But when in Wisconsin I don’t think they let you leave without adding it to your order.

So this place is called Monk’s – it’s been around a while (and I love old authentic local restaurants). It was good and if it were any place else it would have been excellent – however Wisconsin has this thing called the Dells. Not sure if you’ve ever heard of it or been there, but it offers elite-level people watching.

You see, the Dells would be Wisconsin equivalent of Ocean City, MD. A little trashy, lots of fun for people who like places like this, with tons of ticky-tacky shops. A family destination for sure.

COVID has either delayed the season-opening, or maybe it doesn’t kick into gear yet. But you can tell this is a madhouse of people during the summer. Speaking of COVID, this part of the U.S. is strangely immune to the virus; I walk around with my ”east-coast” facemask, and people look at me as though I am out of the ordinary. Anyway, the folks here could not have been nicer

On my way through town, I stopped to take a picture of this seemingly famous All You Can Eat spot – it was closed, but again, I just imagine the people watching as hordes of families queue up for the Lumber Jack Meals!! Yum!!!

Having made it out of Wisconsin, my final goal for the day was to make it as far West before it got too late, which ended up being Rochester, MN.

I didn’t have any KOA reservations in hand, and I had this odd Ozark fantasy of sleeping overnight in a Walmart parking lot. Yes, it’s a real thing that people really do, intentionally – not just reenacting Wendy dealing with the death of Ben with copious amounts of Vodka (Ozark spoiler alert).

So I chickened out the glamorous Walmart scene and found a Town Place Suites with charging bays out front. At this point, it was 10.30 PM, and I just wanted someplace reasonably safe to sleep. So I converted the car into my makeshift tent and slept under the annoying glow of the street lamp above me (God damn glass roof). I would have had a nip of whiskey to tuck me in, but was afraid that if the police came by to check on me, it might have been a problem for my brother (the attorney) to deal with.

Well, that was day two – day three is a run for Deadwood, SD – stay tuned.

A 300-mile dash to Salem/Lisbon Ohio ended in a reasonably comfortable first night in the Tesla micro-RV edition. The night was nice and cool. The air mattress was relatively comfortable. Setting things up for the night took about 20 minutes but easy enough. Winding down wasn’t easy, requiring a dose of Jeremiah Weed to chill me out a little. (don’t let the name fool you – it’s whiskey… No seriously, it is… See picture below)

I felt like I landed with an alien ship. No one had seen a Tesla at the campground, and the local guests were more than comfortable coming over and chatting me up. They were very concerned about how much the electricity was going to cost me. (Shoot, they were starting to make me nervous- how much did they think this thing was going to cost $100s???)

The spot was perfect, nestled between two enormous RVs, my little car was tucked in perfectly with plenty of visibility for the caravan of golf carts driving by to get a glimpse of this out-of-place passerby. Adding to the convenience of it, all my “Overnight Kamper” site #109 was just across from the bathhouse, which aided in my pre-dawn departure with a fantastic hot shower.

Cheaper than a hotel, the spot was $20. Two bottles of water and a bag of ice, $4. Electricity for the car: $4.95 – 100% charged. All in the first-night stay was less than $30 – can’t beat that.

I have the first couple of legs of the trip sorted; overnight at a KOA in Salem, Ohio, to make it in time for lunch with an old friend in Chicago the next day.

Planning, mapping, and procuring for this adventure over the last few weeks has reminded me of Boy Scouts and summer camp. I tested the air mattress and the makeshift curtains for the car. Everything seems to fit as planned.

From what I have read, the only ”failable” thing on Tesla appears to be the tires, so between a repair kit and a portable air compressor, the potential nail in the road kind of fun should be simple enough to manage.

Getting excited!!

Since high school, I’ve wanted to take a road trip cross country. Dead Head friends may have inspired it, or maybe it was Depeche Mode’s 101 Documentary or perhaps Jack Kerouac. In any case, thirty years later, I think this is precisely the right thing to do after months of COVID quarantine.

Last week the company announced a mandatory, but comparatively brief, furlough, creating an opportunity to take time away from the office and triggering my wanderlust.

Hopefully, you will find this blog interesting, but its primary purpose is to chronicle what should be a three-week drive from Virginia to California and back.